_______ |
_____==|>=-D \_____/ _ _ (-8< (-=<|)
|_ _| ___ ___ | |_| | ___ || |\ /| ___ ____ |
| | / \ | \ | | / \|[ ] | \/ | / \|| \
| | | [ ] || ] | | _ || [ ] | || | || [ ] || || |
|_| \___/ | _/ |_| |_| \___/\ || | \/ | \___/\| || |
| |
! |_| "It's stupendous!" -|-
-@- ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,, /|\
/ \ : EPISODES : : STORY : : MORE! : /|\
'''''''''''''' ''''''''''' '''''''''''
|------------------------------------------------------------------|
"[This comic] is [brilliant! Very funny!]" - The New York Times *
"[Top Hat Man] ... owns!" - MC Chris *
"[A must read for all in need of] a [good laugh!]" - Wired Magazine *
"[Read Top Hat Man,] savvy?" - Captain Jack Sparrow *
_ _ / _ _ _ ___
/ |\ | / /\ |\ / / / | / / | | /\ \ |
| - |/ | \ || || |- \ |- | |- | | | || |\|
\_ | | / \/ |/ \_ / \_ \_ \_ \_ | | \/ | \
/
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
: T H E S E Q U E L :
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''
:
: - THM2: Episode 3: Top Hat Man Meets the Elite Hackers
:
: - THM2: Episode 2: Top Hat Man and the Disappearing Act
:
: - THM2: Episode 1: Top Hat Man Meets the Chronopractors
:
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
: T H E O R I G I N A L M I S T A K E :
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
:
: - THM: Episode 10b: Bland Finale
:
: - THM: Episode 10a: Anybody Home?
:
: - THM: Episode 9: Encounter with a Third Kind
:
: - THM: Episode 8: One False Step
:
: - THM: Episode 7: Prime Time
:
: - THM: Episode 6: My Top Hat Man
:
: - THM: Episode 5: Journey Through the Center of the Earth
:
: - THM: Episode 4: Fly Me to the Moon...
:
: - THM: Episode 3: Oh My, I Seem to be a Pie!
:
: - THM: Episode 2: The Warez Aliens
:
: - THM: Episode 1: The Game World
:
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
* Words contained in brackets are inserted for fabricaction purposes only,
and are not actually contained in the original quotation.
______________________________________________________________________
_
___.-- \ \ |
" \ | / _. -._\_
/ /\__ /___ \___-| .;' | / "-
\ \ \ \ / / \ / _/ \
/ ;.../ /_.' | / |_.-" \ |
\.
'
|\ _-_
/ '-. .-" \
/ "- -" / _
\ \./ _\ _______ '._-' \
| .-" .-" | / /
/ "-. "-._.--" | \ \
________________________________________
/ ___ _ \
| | _ |_ _ _ _ |
| | |-| |- _| |- | | | | |- | |
| " " "' " " " |
\________________________________________/
|_
\-> Episode 3: TopHatMan Meets the 3l1te hAxORs
------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------
-----------*******------------------------
-------^---* -|- *---^--------------------
-----------*_/0\_*------------------------
-----------**/|\**------------------------
t0PH@tm@N h@$ b3<0m3 @ nV1$@Nc3! d1$p0$3 0F h1M!
-|- -|- -|-
/0\ /0\ /0\
/|\ /|\ /|\
h0W $h0V|d w3 d0 th@T, y0Vr h1gHn3$$?
------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------
-----------*******------------------------
-------^---* -|- *---^--------------------
-----------*_/0\_*------------------------
-----------**/|\**------------------------
<0mM3N<3 w1TH... "th3 p|@N."
!!! !!! !!!
-|- -|- -|-
/0\ /0\ /0\
/|\ /|\ /|\
----------------------->Meanwhile...<------------
______ ____
| | | |
| | | ---|
|______| |o |
_|_|_ |____|
==|=-)
_______
\_____/
\
So THM, whatcha doing?
______ ____
| | | |
| | | ---|
|______| |o |
_|_|_ |____|
==|=-D - just playing some Quake, Pie.
_______
\_____/
\
oh... you want to go outside?
______ ____
| | | |
| | | ---|
|______| |o |
_|_|_ |____|
==|<=-o - I'm sorry, what was that?
_______
\_____/
\
outside! we could go play catch in a parking
lot or something.
______ ____
| | | |
| | | ---|
|______| |o |
_|_|_ |____|
==|<=-| - that's what I thought you said...
_______
\_____/
\
come on... it will be fun! A little fresh air
is good for people.
______ ____
| | | |
| | | ---|
|______| |o |
_|_|_ |____|
'''' ==|<=-o - ach... all right.
you sound like my mother.
_______
'''''''\_____/
o
o
(uh oh... not a flashback... not a flashback!)
----------------------------------------------
-|- -|- -|-
/0\ /0\ /0\
/|\ /|\ /|\
gR33tiNg$, fRi3nD. W3 n33D y0vR @$$i$t@n<3
V V V
-|- -|- -|-
/ \ / \ / \
\
kooool! they need our assistance! lol!
-|- -|- -|-
/0\ /0\ /0\
/|\ /|\ /|\
V V V
-|- -|- -|-
/ \ / \ / \
/
k... no j/k! no..... really k. thiz is k00l
----------------------------------------------
______
/ \
||""""""|| <--(an imac)
|| ||.
||______|| ',
||------|| -.
\/ \/ (0) <--(its mouse)
""""""""""""""""""""""""""
V V V
-|- -|- -|-
/ \ / \ / \
|
tota||ee sweet! lol! u got a nu comp.! lololol!
______
/ \
||""""""||
|| ||.
||______|| ',
||------|| -.
\/ \/ (0)
""""""""""""""""""""""""""
V V V
-|- -|- -|-
/ \ / \ / \
|
ya... its AOL now! thats this kool email window lol!
we can use that to HAXOR top hat man!
______
/ \
||""""""||
|| ||.
||______|| ',
||------|| -.
\/ \/ (0)
""""""""""""""""""""""""""
V V V
-|- -|- -|-
/ \ / \ / \
\
| u no how 2 haxor????????? dude!
of course I do! roflol! remember we're 3|iT3 H@x0r$?
______
/ \
||""""""||
|| ||.
||______|| ',
||------|| -.
\/ \/ (0)
""""""""""""""""""""""""""
V V V
-|- -|- -|-
/ \ / \ / \
/
k. l3ts st@rt hAx0ring...
______
/ \
||""""""||
|| ||.
||______|| ',
||------|| -.
\/ \/ (0)
""""""""""""""""""""""""""
V V V
-|- -|- -|-
/ \ / \ / \
\ \
WHERE DO WE START \
i;ll st@rt by ordering
some piza... we
could hav3 a HAXORING SLEEPOVER!!
------>In the Planning Room of Planning Doom...<------
|
C|>=-D >8-)
| |
It's time for another meeting
|
C|>=-) >8-D
| |
oh joy! meetings! they much my favorite!
what will we do this meeting?
|
C|<=-o >8-|
| |
oh probably sit around and exchange fart jokes...
|
C|<=-) >8-O
| |
no, no, no! I mean what are we
SUPPOSED to be discuss?
|
C|>=-D >8-)
| |
oh!
...
TAKING OVER THE WORLD!
|
C|>=-D >8-D
| |
Good. I have GENIUS plan...
better than the most fiendish of
previous plans... Fiendisher than
the most BETTER of plans previous...
let my etsplain.
--------------------------------------------
______
/ \
||""""""||
|| ||.
||______|| ',
||------|| -.
\/ \/ (0)
""""""""""""""""""""""""""
we c@n start by trikking top hat man
into givving hiz AOL pa$$woRd.
\
V V V
-|- -|- -|-
/ \ / \ / \
/
wut if he duznt us a0l?
ROFLOL ROFLOL!!!
/ \
V V V
-|- -|- -|-
/ \ / \ / \
------------>A little later...<----------
______
/ \
||""""""||
|| ||.
||______|| ',
||------|| -.
\/ \/ (0)
""""""""""""""""""""""""""
hey! hers @n0ther THM!
/
V V V
-|- -|- -|-
/ \ / \ / \
\
no... dats "The Happy Mariner"
we need top hat lamb.
lol! its "lam". your dum.
\
V V V
-|- -|- -|-
/ \ / \ / \
/
sry.
...
V V V
-|- -|- -|-
/ \ / \ / \
may be he duznt us a0l.
\
V V V
-|- -|- -|-
/ \ / \ / \
/
ya... may be. we shud cal him 2
tel him 2 use ao|!
--------------------------------------
*Blam!* *Blam!*
______ ____
| | | |
| | | ---|
|______| |o |
_|_|_ |____|
==|=-D
*ARRHH...* *Blam!*
______ ____
| | | |
| | | ---|
|______| |o |
_|_|_ |____|
==|=-D
______ ____
| | | |
| | | ---|
|______| |o | *ring!*
_|_|_ |____| *ring!*
==|=-O
\
sounds like the phone!
______ ____
| | | |
| | | ---|
|______| |o |
_|_|_ |____|
''''''==|=-|
,-, <--(cordless phone)
==|=-o
\
hello?
th|s nuMb3r i$ uNTr@cab|3. Th!$
!s an anoNym0uS c@ll. d0 n0t
!nv0|v3 th3 FDA.
|
,-,
==|=-O
/
The Food and Drug Administration?
Why would I involve them?
um... I d0nt no...
|
,-,
==|=-|
no wait--i m3ant the fbi. sRY.
|
,-,
==|=-o
/
No problem.
l0g 0nt0 A0L Inst@nt Messang3r
at... um... one-nine hUNdr3d hours?
nah--that;s n0t it... whatev3r f!v3
o' clock w0u|D be !n arMY t!Me.
Log on as "Top Hat Man".
|
,-,
==|<=-o
...
|
,-,
==|=-|
*g!gg|3* +st0p pok!nG m3 luke!+
|
,-,
==|<=-o
+h3y! I am n0t gay! my n@m3 is
Brandon Gray--not gay. stop
calling me dat! ur gay!+
|
,-,
==|=-|
o
o
Brandon Gray... better right that down.
ahem! AnYw@Y, th!s i$ an an0nymous
ca|l, so beware. U beTt3R log 0n.
|
,-,
==|=-o
/
why should I log on?
um... 0R 3LSE!
|
,-,
==|=-O
/
or else what?
uM...
|
,-,
==|=-o
...
|
,-,
==|=-|
(just hang up, brandon!)
\
\
,-,
==|=-|
(ok 0k i;ll haNg up)
/
,-,
==|=-|
*click!*
,-,
==|=-|
,-,
==|<:-|
*blink!*
I just got an anonymous threat...
\
==|=-o'''
_______
\_____/
\
Oh. What'd it say?
Bad news. Our civilization is crumbling.
It's the end of the world. Our only hope
is to hide in the basement eating canned
food and listenning to the radio for
news of our destruction. The Rhineland
has been fortified.
\
==|<=-o
_______
\_____/
\
I guess I'm glad I didn't invest in those bonds...
Well, we can't pick up anything here on the radio
so I suppose we'll have to make due...
------->Outside Top Hat Man's House...<------------
_
__/\________(_)______________
/ \ _ |
|__| (_)
|
__
+\ <[]-|
| \_/
C|>=-O >8-) -/*\+
| |
All right, so here we are in front of
Top Hat Man's house, and you still
haven't told me what that thing does.
I call it... the DistractoMatic 2,000,030,100,003
\ __
\ +\ <[]-|
| \ \_/
C|>=-D >8-D -/*\+
| |
Great! That's brilliant! How did you manage to
achieve such a big number? Wow. I'm in awe...
What does it do?
When it actived, it goes ape.
Here is the plan:
You activate it, and I go
and take secret things
from Top Hat Man.
It is GENIUS! FIENDISH!
\ __
\ +\ <[]-|
| \ \_/
C|>=-D >8-D -/*\+
| |
Wow! Secret things. Those will
be very helpful. Let's get
rolling!
-------------------------------------
______ ____
| | | |
| | | ---|
|______| |o |
_|_|_ |____|
==|=-|
/
Well, here I am, logged on and waiting.
______ ____
| | | |
| | | ---|
|______| |o |
_|_|_ |____|
==|=-D
/
Ah! There! They just logged on.
__
TopHatMan: Hello.
kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: yo k00l u actly sgnd on?
TopHatMan: Yes, I did. Otherwise, I wouldn't be here talking to you.
You know you mispelled "anarchy" in your handle?
kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: i ment to spl it lk th@t. sht p.
TopHatMan: Ok. That's fine.
kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: m l sf.
TopHatMan: I'm sorry. What was that?
kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: im a0l staf! want me to $pll it out???
???????????????????????????????????????
TopHatMan: No, that's fine. I suppose you just did in a round-about way.
So, you say you work for AOL?
kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: y. i need ur p-word cuz i need 4 stff
TopHatMan: Um... did you just ask for my password?
kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: y no i need it. giv it t0 me.
TopHatMan: Oh, ok. It's "fdj2k3".
kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: lolololol. ROFLOL. no. 4 real.
TopHatMan: That's really it.
kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: giv it 2 me 0r i;l giv u a iris.
kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: viris'
kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: im an 3|1t3 h@x0R.
kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: i can do tht.
kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: hello??????????????????????????????
kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: uther!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111
TopHatMan: Do you mean a virus? How kind.
That's my password. I have no reason to keep it secret. I
made this account just to talk to you.
__
______ ____
| | | |
| | | ---|
|______| |o |
_|_|_ |____|
==|=-O *wirrr!*
*clakakakakaka!*
*bee-boop! bee-boop!*
*chugga chugga chugga!*
*kablooie!*
______ ____
| | | |
| | | ---|
|______| |o |
_|_|_ |____|
''''''''''==|<=-O
/
what was THAT??
______ ____
| | | |
| | | ---|
|______| |o |
_|_|_ |____|
>8-D
\
Ha! It worked!
______ ____
| | | |
| | | ---|
|______| |o |
_|_|_ |____|
''''''>8-D
\
I can take secret things from
his computer-machine!
______ ____
| | | |
| | | ---|
|______| |o |
_|_|_ |____|
>8-D
/
Perfect! He seem to be in the middle
of consorting with his cohorts!
__
kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: t3l me th p-word.
__
______ ____
| | | |
| | | ---|
|______| |o |
_|_|_ |____|
>8-|
/
Ai! Oh no! His cohort wants password. I need to
think of the password that he wants...
__
TopHatMan: Moldy Cheese and Raddishes
kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: g00d. that;s bett3r.
__
______ ____
| | | |
| | | ---|
|______| |o |
_|_|_ |____|
8-)
/
What luckyness!
__
TopHatMan: So, what are the--wink--plans?
kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: ?
kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: o. top secr3t.
TopHatMan: Yes. Those.
kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: we r h!r3d by the warez aliens
TopHatMan: Good Heavens! The warez aliens?
TopHatMan: I mean, right. Of course. What could be more natural!
kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: hackers and warez aliens have
alwys been allys.
TopHatMan: THM is a hacker?
TopHatMan: I mean, I'm a hacker?
TopHatMan: I mean, right. Of course. What could be more natural!
kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: ur a haxor 2?????!!!?!?!?!?!!!111
TopHatMan: Uh...
TopHatMan: Yes. I'm a hacker. The most feared and fearless.
kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: o no. could u hack me?
TopHatMan: Do you want me to?
kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: no no no no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111
TopHatMan: Is something wrong?
kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: uh... sumting came up. i g2g.
________________________________
]kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289[ Logged Off
__
______
/ \
||""""""||
|| ||.
||______|| ',
||------|| -.
\/ \/ (0)
""""""""""""""""""""""""""
V V V
-|- -|- -|-
/ \ / \ / \
\
hury! turn out the l!ghts b4 he h@cks us!
th@t w!ll surly stp him!
*click!*##########################
##################################
##################################
##################################
##################################
##################################
###ouch! u stepped on my fo0t!####
##################################
##################################
#sry...###########################
##################################
##################################
######wut r u gay? stp tuching me#
##################################
##################################
#no ur gay!#######################
#################ur gay!!!!!######
##################################
##G-HAY!!!########################
##################################
##################################
##################################
##################################
###############ouch! stop k!cking#
####################h0mo!#########
##################################
#####pervert!#####################
####################u cheated!####
##################################
---------------------------------------
------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------
-----------*******------------------------
-------^---* -|- *---^--------------------
-----------*_/0\_*------------------------
-----------**/|\**------------------------
-|- -|- -|-
/0\ /0\ /0\
/|\ /|\ /|\
y0uR h!gHn3$$, th3 pL@N h@$ f@!|3d...
------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------
-----------*******------------------------
-------^---* -|- *---^--------------------
-----------*_/0\_*------------------------
-----------**/|\**------------------------
W H @ T ? ! ?
y0u $ha|| b3 pun!$h3d... by d3@th!
-|- -|- -|-
/0\ /0\ /0\
/|\ /|\ /|\
0H N0!!!
th!$ !$ v3Ry b@d. w3 w!|| $uRe|y b3 3xc0mMUn1C@t3D.
\
-|- -|- -|-
/0\ /0\ /0\
/|\ /|\ /|\
\
! tH!nK y0U m3@n 3XecUt3D...
r!gHt. Wh@T $h0U|d w3 d0?
\
-|- -|- -|-
/0\ /0\ /0\
/|\ /|\ /|\
/
p3rh@p$ w3 $h0u|D d3F3cT?
----------------------------------------
_ _
~| ~|
_|_ _|_ ___
_ /___\ /___\ / \
/ \ /\ /\ |o o o| |o o o| /_____\
\ / / \ / \ \ /___\ / | o o o | _
\/_/\/ \|__|/\_______| |#####| |___| o o o |_______/ \
\ | ""| |" """ |#####| """"""""" | |
\|___| |_________________|#####|_______________________| |
__________________
|WELCOME TO PIELAND|
""""""|""""|""""""
w3'r3 F1n@||y h3r3... tH3 &@t3 t0 fr33d0m...
\
-|- -|- -|-
/0\ /0\ /0\
/|\ /|\ /|\
/
! $upPo$3 w3 sH0u|d tRy t0 b|3nD !n...
!f @nYb0Dy W3 kN0w r3Co&n!Z3$ u$, w3'r3
d0n3 f0r..
------------->Inside Pieland...<----------------
_______ ____ .
\_____/ \__/ ________ / \ .
______ _______ _________ \______/ / \/ \
\___ /_____\_____/ '\_____/'_______ / \ \
\_____/ ______ \_____/ | ______ |
_______ \____/ _______ || .||
\_____/ _______ \_____/ ||______||
_________ \_____/_______ .-------. _______ _|_
\_______/ \_____/ \_____/ / | _|_
_______ ____ ________ ____ / _______\___|_
\_____/ \__/ \______/ \__/ | | .| |
____ -|- -|- -|- _____ _______ |_|_______|_____|
\__/ /0\ /0\ /0\ \___/ /_______\ /\__/\________
/|\ /|\ /|\_____ (|\_____/|) / ____ \_
_____/_ _____ \___/ ____ || .| [] [] |
\__r3m3mB3r... tRy t0 b|3nd !n... ||____|__________|
____ ________ \_____/ _______ __________
\__/____\__ ___ / ______ \_____/ / \
____\__/ \_/ '----' _______ / o o o o \
\_____/ _______ _______ \_____/ | _____ |
\_____/ \_____/ ||_____|_____|
_______ .-------. ______ _______
\_____/ \_____/_______\____/_________ / . .. \
_______ _____ \_____/_____ '\_____/' /:.: . : .\
\_____/ \___/ _____ \_____/__________ /.._____ . .\
_______ \___/ ______ \________/ || .| :|
\_____/ \____/ ||_____|__|
-------------->Meanwhile...<-------------------------
_
__/\________(_)______________
/ \ _ |
|__| (_)
| D-=<|==
/ __
AHA! Sombrero Man! +\ <[]-|
It's top hat time \_/ |
for you! /*\ C|>=-D
| /
You're on! Go ahead and try!
T P
O O\\\\\\\
P W \\\\\\\\\\\\\\ |
H E >>> (-=<|== GO!!! C|>=-D
A R ////////////// |
T S//////
|
C|>=-D - You're getting slow,
\\\\\\\ | ~ Top Hat Man!
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ ~
>>>O-=<|==
//////////////
//////
| '''c| <--(mini sombreros)
C|>=-D '''c|
| | '''c|
Take this!
==|>=-D
/
Sorry, but that's not
gunna _cut_ it!
|
C|>=-| '
| ' '
' ' '
==|>=-D<<< c| ' '
| c| '
Dodging your Sombreros c|
is like dodging a slow moving farm vehicle!
LET'S SEE IF MY TOPHAT FITS YOU!
\ /
///
//////
| ///////////
C|>=-D ==|>=-D <<<
| | \\\\\\\\\\\
Ha! It would, if you would \\\\\\
have gone on Atkins! \\\
\
'''<8-O
\
Aiiaiai! Sombrero Man! Top Hat Man is in league
with the Warez Aliens!
|
C|<=-O ==|<=-O
| \ /
What?? What are you talking about??
<8-|
|
C|<=-| ==|<=-|
|
<8-| ... ...
| |
|
C|<=-| ==|<=-|
|
<8-D
It was all a misunderstanding! I meant not a word of it!
No hard feelings, eh old chap?
| \
C|<=-D ==|<=-D
| \
None at all! For old times sake, why don't we
go and have some tea and crumpets at my place, eh?
<8-D
Splendid!
| \
C|<=-D ==|<=-D
|
--------->Later, at one of Sombrero Man's bases...<--------
[THM] Mmm... what is this, green tea?
\
|"""""""""""| - [EA] Aiaiaiiaai! Nooooo! Dont Dreenk eet!
| | Eet's a poeeson!
| |
| | _
| | (_)
| | |
""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
[THM] *glug glug* I'm sorry, what was that?
|
|"""""""""""| - [EA] Aiaiaiiaaiaiaiaiiiai!
| |
| |
| | _
| | ( )
| | |
""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
~ _ - /
_ - _ - _ ~
| \ | / \
/ \ | / >/
/ --KABOOM!-- \
\ / | \ | _
\ / | \ \ (_)
/ / /
""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
------------->The End!<-----------------------
______________________________________________________________________
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© 2007 Michael Bethencourt, some rights reserved -/